Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
God I need to hump something, right now.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
