Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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