oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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