I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize