She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize