Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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