If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
