Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
