do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
