Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
