Yo dont text me then not text me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We just shotgunned beers for America
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
