Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
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u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.