No stitches, just platelets and will power
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
