Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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