after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I had to cum in my sink.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
