My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
