I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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