I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
