I hate your face
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
