You're my little dorito
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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