then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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