She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
