I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
