If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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