..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
