Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
