im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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