Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
