I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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