You're completely useless in the revolution.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
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we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
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At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.