I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB