I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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