You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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