Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
