You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Small penises have feelings too.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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