I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
