I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
