woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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