you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
