...so i touched it.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
This is the high leading the old right now
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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