you traded sex for a burrito?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
