When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She announced her abortion via fbk
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
