Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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