Quick, to the slutcave!
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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