I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
