thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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