Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
