Say something about gay babies.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
