just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
my liver is dry heaving
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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