I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
