1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
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She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
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Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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