There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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