even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
