I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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