Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
