what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
