Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
