Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You can't special order awesome
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
