Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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