Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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