yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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