I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
