She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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