Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
